Sapphire Lies
by Tonkswyrda
Summary: Remus has been away for just over six months, and comes back to find that Tonks is... engaged? no.2 of 30 drabbles in 30 days :


The wind was howling through the trees, and to Remus, it felt as if he would be uprooted from the ground at any second. Still he trudged on, intent on reaching the burrow, and trying not to think that he could have just stepped onto the moors in a scene from Wuthering Heights. The very darkness seemed to be swirling about him as he hurried onwards to the high streetlamp that marked the path down to the Weasley's house, now headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix.

A loud rumble behind him signalled a passing car, and Remus watched the yellow spill from the headlights as it drove past him, invisible as he was in the winter darkness. To his surprise, the car pulled over beside the streetlamp he was attempting to reach. As he drew nearer a small figure hopped out of the passenger seat, leaning in to talk to the driver. In the pale streetlight he recognised her small nose and the scuffed brown leather jacket she had wrapped around herself.

Dora.

He strayed closer to the shelter and shadow of the trees, ignoring the branches that whipped his face, trying to hear what was happening in the car over the winds endearing wail.

"I'll see you later then. I don't know how long it'll be, I'll just apparate back." She was saying, scuffing her laced boot along the ground, and starring at her other shoe.

"Alright." Came the reply. Then- "I love you."

"Yeah." There was a pause. "Love you too. Tonks leaned into the car for a second, before closing the door and turning down the path. As soon as the car pulled away, Remus hurried to follow her, frowning.

She wasn't far ahead of him when he reached the lane. She had stopped walking, and was running her hands through her brown hair. The wind died down momentarily, and Remus heard her sigh.

"Shit." She said loudly.

He had reached her now. Unsure, he opened his mouth, then closed it again. What could he say to her? If she had moved on, like he had told her to, how could he assault her with questions without being caught out?

Apparently he didn't have to say anything though, because she had whipped around, her expression becoming murderous when she saw him standing right behind her.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" she yelled over the wind.

Remus shrugged. "I was just going to say… hello."

She raised an eyebrow.

"What was with the profanities?" Remus asked, pretending he hadn't heard half her conversation back at the car. Not that it helped that much that he had.

She glared at him, her grey eyes piercing. "What, did you expect me to say Poppycock instead? I'll swear if I want, thank you very much."

"Fine. Forget I said anything," Remus muttered, watching her. She crossed her arms huffily, and began walking again. He followed.

"So how have you been?" he asked loudly, trying to make light conversation. She turned her head back to him, still glaring.

"How do you think?" she said sourly. "I'm absolutely fab, can't you tell?"

Remus sighed. It was going to be a long night. "Just trying to be polite." He muttered, shaking his hair out of his face.

"Well don't."

They walked in silence for the rest of the way, Tonks still pouting, while Remus' head buzzed as he tried to work it all out. She had someone new, she had to. So why was she still miserable?

They were early when they arrived, and only Kingsley was there talking to Arthur, while Molly sat knitting in front of the fire. Tonks joined the conversation with Kingsley and Arthur, and Remus sat on the couch, happy for the moment to be ignored by her. He couldn't help watching her as she talked though- and looking away awkwardly every time her cold gaze landed on him. she was fiddling with something on her hand as she talked, something he couldn't quite see but was watching because then it didn't look like he was watching her if she glanced at him.

Something blue flashed on her finger in the fire light, and the fire crackled, making her jump.

No. no way. It couldn't be. No. That couldn't be a ring, could it? Not on her ring finger… on her left hand…

"Tonks dear, would you mind helping me get tea ready in the kitchen?" Molly's voice broke through his thoughts. Tonks' hand immediately covered the ring as she stood.

"Sure." Her voice was higher then usual, but she followed Molly into the kitchen.

Hastily Remus left the room, muttering something about going to the bathroom. Once in the hall though, and feeling slightly guilty about it, he pulled a long, flesh coloured string from his pocket. Taking a breath, he put one end in the ear, watching as the other wriggled off under the kitchen door. He really wasn't sure if he wanted to know what was happening, but Tonks had a sapphire ring, and he had to find out why.

"That's a nice ring you've got there," Molly was saying.

"Oh, you noticed?" Tonks said weakly.

There was a pause, and Remus could imagine Molly starring her down. "Tonks, I notice everything. I've mothered six boys. Did you really think I would miss something as obvious as that?"

Tonks sighed. "I guess not."

"Exactly. So, he asked, did he?"

"Yeah." Tonks said quietly.

"And why on earth did you say yes?"

Silence.

"Well?"

"I'm not going to get a better offer," Tonks mumbled. "Not now, at any rate."

Molly's voice became soft. "And what do you mean by that?"

"You know what I mean," Tonks said darkly. "He's not about to change his mind, is he?"

Remus had a horrible feeling the conversation had moved to him, even though he wasn't in the room.

"He loves you." Molly said quietly.

"No he doesn't." Tonks replied miserably. "Not enough to let us… no." she let out a shaky breath. "He doesn't love me."

"He does. He just loves you too much. You know him, he's being stupid. And he thinks he's being noble."

Remus frowned. He really didn't like Molly assuming he was being noble. Why could no one see things from his point of view?

"It doesn't matter though. It's too late. I said yes… I can't take it back now."

"And why not?"

"I've waited too long, Molly. All of them, every single guy I've ever loved- they've all hurt me. They've all made promises, and they've all broken them. I don't want to be like that. I cant do that to him."

"So you're going to spend the rest of your life with him so you don't hurt his feelings? And what happens when he finds that out? What happens if he finds out you're still in love with Remus, huh?"

There was a long pause. Then- "He won't."

"Alright then. But do you love him?"

"Ye… I… I don't know." She sniffed. Remus hoped she wasn't crying.

"You better make up your mind. Better to hurt him now, then after you've gone through everything."

"I suppose. It's just…"

"Just what?"

"What difference will it make? Whether I marry him or not, Remus is never going to pop the question."

"Nymphadora Tonks! That is no way to think, you hear me?" even Remus winced as Tonks was told off. "It makes a huge difference! Are you going to spend the rest of your life with him, unhappy and wishing you hadn't because you don't really love him, or are going to let yourself try and find some happiness in this world? I know you don't want to hear it, but Remus isn't the only other man out there."

"He's the only one I love though." Tonks said softly.

Remus had heard enough. Angrily he pulled the extendable ear out of his own, stuffing the string messily in his pocket, before leaning against the cool wooden hall. This was all his fault. Tonks was getting married to someone she didn't love so that she didn't have to think about loving him.

He really was a monster.

The door opened, and he jumped in fright.

Tonks was starring at him, red rising in her cheeks. Blinking, she quickly moved her gaze down to her shoes.

"You're getting married." Remus said, mouth dry. She nodded, still not looking at him. "I guess… I guess congratulations are in order."

She looked up, her face set. "Thanks." And so quickly that he couldn't believe she managed it without tripping, she flew past him and back into the sitting room.

Molly stood in the doorway now, watching her run away. "Remus Lupin, this is the only time I say it. This is entirely your fault."

Remus sighed. "I know."

"Well then, its up to you to fix it, isn't it?"

Remus looked at her, mouth agape. "And just how do you propose I do that? She barely wants to look at me, let alone have a nice chat about her fiancé! I didn't tell her to off and marry the first bloke that asked her out!"

"No, but if you hadn't been so incredibly thick in the first place, she wouldn't have needed another bloke because she could have married you."

"No." Remus shook his head. "There is no way I would do that to her."

Molly raised an eyebrow. "She'd be happy. You both would be."

"No," Remus corrected her, "I'd be miserable."

Molly grinned. "Aren't you always though?"

He pouted, sulking. "No." he said sullenly. He was starting to feel like a five year old, arguing like this.

"You're wrong, you know." Molly smiled. "You would be happy and you know it. If she didn't want to be with you because you're a werewolf, she wouldn't have dated you in the first place."

"Whatever," Remus muttered angrily. "I've got to go."

He left without bothering to say goodbye to anyone, not caring that he'd missed another meeting. Because deep down, he knew Molly was right. But what could he do?

She was at work. The office was half empty- everyone was sneaking in a last minute Christmas shop.

"Don't do it."

She turned around, frowning when she saw him standing in the door of her cubicle. "Don't what?" she asked angrily.

"Don't marry him."

Her jaw tightened. "Why the bloody hell do you care if I marry him or not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Just because." He said simply.

"Not a good enough reason." She replied stonily.

"You won't be happy." He told her.

"I haven't been happy in a long time," she muttered. "What makes you think anything could make me happy now?"

"I would make you happy." He said quickly.

She was lost for words.

"But he won't. So don't do it. Please."

"YOU were the one who told me you didn't love me, and that I had to move on!" she hissed, and someone walked past.

"I didn't mean get engaged within the next six months!"

"OH, so you want me to be single forever? That's just asking me to turn into a crazy cat lady, you know."

"I'm asking you to do what makes you happy." Remus said firmly.

"I was happy." She said quietly. "I was happy with you."

"I know. And I am so, so sorry." Turning, he left, before he did any more damage. He was ruining her life, with every word. He was continuously destroying her. And it was always for her own good.

She was late for the next order meeting.

"You didn't do anything brash, did you?" Molly was worried.

"Relax Molly, she's probably just busy," Kingsley said with a knowing smile on his face.

Sure enough she arrived soon, and the first thing Remus noticed was the missing sapphire on her finger.

"Where's your ring?" he asked quietly, once everyone was busy.

She shrugged. "Gave it back." She looked him in the eyes, her piercing greys so much like Sirius'. "Can we… talk?"

Numbly, he nodded, following her away from the roaring heat of the fire into the hall.

She was fumbling with her scarf this time. "Well, you see, all this… this nightmare got me thinking. About what I want. About who I want." She looked at him.

"Nymphadora…" he said warningly.

"You don't want me." She said simply. "I want to know why. The truth. No bullshit."

"I…I can't." He muttered. "It wouldn't be safe for you. And no matter how many times I promise myself I won't, and no matter how many times you tell me I won't, eventually I'm going to hurt you. I've done enough already."

"I want to be happy." She told him. "I'm done with being a miserable bitch. But I need you to help me."

"I can't." he said through locked teeth.

"You can. You were lying, before, when you said you didn't love me. Weren't you? Weren't you!" her eyes were desperate.

Hope. That was all she wanted. Hope.

"Dora… you've waited too long. Not anymore." He took a deep breath. "Yes," he whispered, "I lied."

If it made her happy… he knew that he would always do anything for her. Even if she was with someone else. He wouldn't stop loving her. Maybe he was a monster, to make her love him. But maybe that little streak of madness in him was what she needed. Maybe it was possible for a monster to be loved, and to love in return.

She smiled, and he was sure he almost saw a glimmer of pink.

And he knew everything would be okay.

_In bed above we're deep asleep, while greater love lies further deep. This dream must end, this world must know, we all depend on the beast below...  
(~Amy Pond, Doctor Who-The Best Below)_


End file.
